Nancymarie’s House

I have no sound on *anything*.

What. The. Fuck.

o_O

I have a food addiction. I am a compulsive overeater. I am a graze eater in order to justify all the crap I shovel into my mouth. I use food as a crutch against stress, depression and shame.

The above picture is not me. It is, however, very close to how I look. My stomach is larger and saggier than pictured.

I’m not sure where to go for help on my eating. I looked over Overeaters Anonymous website and the 12 Steps. I am turned off due to the mention of God. My religious beliefs are a mixed-up mess. I believe in a Higher Power that is kind, loving and caring, yet I dislike putting so much faith and hope into a Higher Power. Eh, maybe that’s another factor: lack of unwavering faith?

Now I’m all upset. Where are those Jos Louis?

Firstly, I changed the blog template to Digg 3 Column because I noticed my blog stats widget was not showing up. The other annoying thing is the categories widget was there even though I don’t have it chosen as a showable widget. I can’t figure out how to put things in categories on WordPress anyway, so having a big Categories>Uncategorized (39) staring at me is utterly useless. I did figure out how to add a picture widget. The header is my own creation; turtles are uber cute! ^_^

Secondly, YouTube has no sound when I play videos. Really. It worked fine 2 days ago, but now I get nothing. My speakers and sound card are fine since they work with everything but YouTube. Empath checked to see if it was YouTube by watching vids on his channel and he got sound. *growls* Oh, I can hear YouTube videos from other sources, such as the 3 Blues Brothers vids I have 2 posts down.

The middle sister has pissed off the oldest sister finally (I’ve been waiting for it to happen). I’m going to give each sister an initial to keep them straight: oldest sister is M, middle sister is E. M is the executrix of Dad’s “estate” and was told by Dad that the contents of his lockbox were hers. She told me pretty well what was in it – silver coins, papers, birth certificates – nothing of real value. E wants her quarter share of the lockbox. M called last night to talk to me about it and get my opinion. I told her the lockbox is hers. M is being fair about this whole thing by allowing her siblings and the grandkids to take what is obviously theirs, such as I’d get my set of dishes, any picture of me and the like. She’s even asked Empath if there was anything of Dad’s he wanted and she doesn’t have to do that. It’s coming down to a big lawyering up.

An example of E. She wanted a large rosary. None of us are overly religious; we believe in God but aren’t church-goers. WTF does she need a rosary for? This isn’t a regular rosary but one that is used during Christmas and Lent. The crucifix slides open to hold 4 candles on each of the cross points. If you’re Catholic you know what I mean – the 3 white and 1 purple candles that get lit up during mass while Christmas and Lent are in swing. And E’s daughters aren’t much better. They turn on the tears to con M into giving them things that aren’t theirs.

Maybe it would be best to just sell everything and divvy up the money from the sale 4 ways. I told M that I only wanted my dishes. There’s not a single thing I can think of that I’d like to have. Things and items and money aren’t what made up my Dad. It’s a total nightmare down there, one of which I’m glad to not be part. I feel shitty for leaving M stuck with everything. She has my support though and she knows that.

Empath and I have discussed on a way to get down to Iowa. He thinks taking a plane flight down and renting a car to drive on the return will work if we can scrape up enough cash. I wonder if his folks would be willing to buy plane tickets using their Air Miles? That would put us in only needing money for the rental car. Sadly Empath can only take 2 weeks at most off from work, otherwise we’d drive both ways.

Dad’s favorite scene: Mother Mary Stigmata beating Jake and Elwood with her ruler.

Dad died last night. My sis called me this morning because it would’ve been around 2a my time. The funeral is tentatively scheduled for this Saturday do accommodate one of my uncles who is having surgery on Monday. I need to call a florist down there to get an arrangement sent to the mortuary. I hope sis found the Blues Brothers cd. Dad loved the Blues Brothers a lot and really enjoyed the movie and music. Hey, it’s a helluva lot better to hear John Belushi belting out Soul Man than some warbly soprano twittering Angel We Have Heard On High.

The header is now a pair of red-bellied turtles from Florida, which I found through the Wiki Commons. Empath is so brilliant. He told me to flip the picture 180* and the turtle head would be seen. He r smart.

I commented on Hal’s blog, The Peep Diaries, which I read to keep my brain active. He makes me think about serious things and that’s good. He’d mentioned getting a “mean” comment from someone and I commented to that post to sort of boost Hal’s spirits on being more open in his blog. Here’s what Hal had to say about me. Apparently Hal read my blog, this blog, and he didn’t have to do that. So out of left field. I know I don’t look at the blogs/websites of everyone who comments on my other gaming blog.

Maybe I should get the t-shirt?

I changed the blog look from Fjords to Greenry. I needed a change to …something… I’m still working on a custom header. I found a pair of turtles I liked, but one got his head stuck behind the “home” tag on the right of the header. I’m going to ask Empath for help on how to shrink-to-fit some of my other pictures for the header. I’m not the best at math anymore, not that I ever was.

Also, I deleted my Baldur’s Gate blog. I just couldn’t find the time to play anymore.

This was on Wil Wheaton’s blog and I finally copied it to keep/share on my own blog:

Dad is being moved to hospice care back in our hometown.

I want to clear something up if you’re concerned about his care. The hospital staff is fine; it’s the emergency staff (ambulance and ER) that are totally useless. Normally, I wouldn’t mention specific details about my life or where I live(d), but you’ll thank me for telling you this – Do Not Use Emergency Care In Jefferson, Greene County Iowa! Don’t call for an ambulance. Drive yourself or get someone else to drive you to the hospital. Don’t use the ER doors or the phone outside there. Walk through the main or clinic entrance. This doesn’t stem only from what happened to my dad, but from my own experience.

*side track*

I had a furnace blow up in my face 7 years ago. It was a total accident and no one’s fault. I was taking care of myself for a short time after the explosion – removing jewelry, patting out smoldering hair. I went to get a towel from the bathroom so I could get it wet with cold water and by the time I got back to the kitchen, I’d gone into panic. I couldn’t remember wtf I had a towel in my hands. I ran to my folks house for help, but they were gone. I ran to the gas station across the street, thinking Mom went for some smokes. The clerk there took me back to the bakery area and stuck my head under the sink taps. She called the ambulance while I ran water on my face and hair. The ambulance came and I got inside.

Here’s where they get stupid. I’m holding my leather coat against my face and arms. It was October with that fall-like chill and the leather was nice and cold to me. The volunteers had no scissors or bandages or water. The whole 5 minutes to the ER consisted of the 2 people bickering over whether or not they had saline solution and if they did where was it. I kept sucking on my lovely coat to ease the pain in my lips.

*end side track*

Hospice, if you don’t know, is where people go when they are dying. Dad could die now or years down the road. I haven’t heard back about the CAT scan and how badly damaged his brain is (thank you, GCER).

I have my period on top of all this. Wtf is wrong with me? As I get old, my periods get messier. Just from wiping after going pee, my hand comes out looking like I murdered 4 people. I go through more panties because I bleed all over them than just wearing them the rest of the time. Today I bled out an hour after having a shower and really cleaning up down there. I’m currently wearing 2 Always Overnite pads overlapping each other, which gives me about 20″ of coverage. Menopause where are you!?!?!? >:{

Dad is still in a coma, but he’s responding to people when they talk and ask him to do things such as squeeze a hand or wiggle his toes. He responds to the tv, too, and was calm when a basketball game was on.

The family is moving onto the mundane things like canceling Dad’s credit cards, selling off the furniture and getting the houses bills transfered to the renter’s names. Dad has 3 houses, my brother and his family living in one. My sister-in-law is bitching that she can’t pay the water/electric bills on her own. Well, you’re going to have to tough it out like the rest of us.

My sister says Dad’ll either go into a nursing home or be with assisted living or live with her. The doctors are planning CAT scans and things to find out how damaged his brain is. There’s also a DNR (do not resuscitate) order now (Dad never had one) and the doctor turned of his defibrulator so it won’t jump-start him.